Sophie King

WOW! I can’t believe it’s almost one year since I graduated from college…and it’s even weirder that it’s been almost one year since I got engaged. Time FLIES! But truly- time actually flies after graduation. I don’t know what it is, but the moment after I graduated suddenly day’s felt like they were going so fast. I’m not sure if it’s because I was no longer thinking in “semesters” or what, but I was like “WOAH??? It’s already November? Woah…it’s January?” and so on.

On instagram I asked you guys to send in some of your questions and some of your fears you’re currently battling in your mind. And I will say, I related to a lot of them. Let me start by saying this, it’s very normal to be thinking “What is next? I have no plan.”

Many of the fears were the same: “Fearful of the Real World,” “Fearful of Change,” “Fearful of moving back home,” “fearful of leaving and moving,” “fearful of not finding a job in my field,” “fearful I studied the wrong thing after all these years,” “fearful of not having community.” And the list goes on.

Let’s first take a moment and recognize that you’re truly not alone. So many other people are going through that. Luke and I had many friends that got their dream job and moved to NYC or some amazing place to start their career. And you know what we did? We celebrated with them. That’s worth celebrating! But it’s also not all that common. So don’t be discouraged when you feel you have no plan.

God gives you the grace for each season you’re in and each season comes with it’s pros and cons. Don’t be so fearful of a season that you start to forget how far God has brought you in the past.

Do you remember when you were little and your class would do the “flying up” day where you would go to the grade above you to hear what the next year would hold… and it was always so intimidating because suddenly you see math problems on the chalk board and words that you can’t even read. Your teacher was always like “you will learn how to do this! And you will have more homework.” It was always so intimidating and a lot of times kids would walk out discouraged like, “I’ll never be able to do that.” But then what happens? You are taught, trained and equipped way more than you realize. And then next thing you know, that year is over. Much like in college when you get the syllabus for the year and you’re like YIKES…but it’s not all that bad.

“WHAT? Where’s my Community?”

The “Real World” has its challenges. I don’t think anyone really prepped me for the “community aspect” of change. I got so used to having friends within a 5-10 minute radius of me at all times & it was so nice because you didn’t really ever feel lonely.

Well, after college it can be a little more difficult because not everyone around you is in the same season of life as you, or even near you. You have to be really intentional with your relationships which takes some getting used to and can be discouraging in the beginning. You will be surprised at the ones you sort of lose contact with but also equally surprised who you actually keep in contact with regularly. It’s an adjustment but it’s also a new season of life that you should continually give yourself some grace and realize, “goodness can come from this time too.”

Pray that God would bring the right people into your life during this season. Seek out a great church community and figure out where your friends from HS and college end up moving. Many times you will find out some are near by and you can establish a deeper relationship with them even if you only knew them from a class or two.

“YIKES, I have to be Financially Independent”

A lot of people messaged me saying they were fearful about being financially responsible or having to actually follow a budget and not just have what their parents give them. I think this is a common feeling to have for anyone no matter how old they were when they started to be independent. It can be very intimidating before you get there. But what I have learned is it’s super rewarding when you work hard and you earn money yourself and can budget it on your own. You also gain a lot of respect for your parents or whomever helped raise you.

“Scared of Loans”

This is a natural thing to be concerned about but at the same time it can be less intimidating if you seek wisdom from someone who is older and wiser. My dad has been so helpful with teaching me how to aggressively pay off my loans. I just tell myself when it’s time to pay them, “You’re doing a good job, and you’re going to thank yourself later” HAHA my own hype woman.

“Where Will I find other Christian Singles?”

Valid question, and often people meet at church or a local young professionals Bible study. Pray that God would help you during this transition to seek Him first and bring the right people to surround you, not just for a dating relationship, but for every friendship too. Recognize that this time period is actually gonna make you rely on God a whole lot more, even though at times that can be extremely uncomfortable (if we’re just being honest…it’s not always easy…in fact most of the times it’s difficult).

TIPS FROM SOME OF THOSE WHO HAVE GRADUATED:

“Take time in the last few weeks and save time for your friends, not just finals!” – @simplycourtblog

“Before you get a legit job in your career, travel travel travel!”- @kyle_schaller

“You can and you will eventually find your community again. It just might be a little different and that’s okay!” – @abigailcrawford_

“The book After College by Erica Young changed my life!!!” – emily_bledsoe

“Stop stressing over the little things, be in love with the point of life you are at because it’s beautiful!” – @skylardickeyy

“Whatever you plan, God will rewrite it better.” – @kellieanne.montgomery

“Don’t compare yourself, or your plans! Comparison is the thief of joy.” – @lalamonsiv

“There is absolutely no rush to get a job in your “field” RELAX!” – @carolyn.larissa

“You don’t have anything to prove to anyone!” – @paige_kohrmann

Now some blunt encouragement from Tay Ruth

A lot of times we have a dream in our mind and we get so disappointed if that dream isn’t just handed to us (gonna be a bit blunt)…but what we learn is that often times good things are sought after, fought for, and a lot of hard work goes into it to get to that place. So if we start in a lower paid job or in a “water boy” type position…then work at that job as if it’s the first leap towards your dream. Express thanksgiving and excitement in the position God has you in currently. He can work in crazy ways and strengthen you in places that would be looked down upon naturally.

Noah had to build the ark before he could see the rainbow. Ya know what I’m saying?

Mary had to travel and actually go through a full pregnancy before she gave birth to the savior of the world. And in fact- I bet Mary was pretty shocked it wasn’t how she imagined it to be. But…God used her and the whole situation to bring glory to Him!

How about the dream Joseph had? He surely didn’t just wake up one day and see the fruit. In fact there was a lot of in between that happened before he saw that dream come to fruition.

Moses didn’t just lead the people to the promise land in 1 day. It was quite the process and took HARD work.

Abraham didn’t just see the multiplication immediately…ya see where I’m going with this?

Job…there were MANY many days where he sought God and cried out “Why?” And it took a long time to see how God answered and also blessed Him. But God DID bring that blessing.

Sarah’s dream to have a child didn’t come until she was like 99…so sometimes our dreams, or idea of how our life should go, isn’t exactly what God has in store. That’s more than okay. He will use it in crazy ways. You have to keep your eyes opened and change your perspective to see the blessings God has for you even in the process.

So let’s sum it up-
Have GRACE for YOURSELF during THIS season.

Thanks for Reading,
Tay Ruth