Sophie King

I'm Tay! I blog about lifestyle, faith, beauty, and mental health.

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Suffering & Joy: q&a with tay

September 14, 2020

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Hi! I thought it would be fun to do a Q&A since I haven’t done one in awhile! This one will be fun and maybe interesting. I am going to pick questions that I feel are unique or that I haven’t really answered before. Questions from personal to encouragement, funny, or just curious ones that you guys ask.

Q1. What would be your dream day?
A1. I like this question mainly because I love to dream. My dream day would probably be being out by the lake with all my favorite people. I love my family a ton and my best friends that are spread out all over. I cherish my people a lot.

Q2. What has been challenging for you during this season?
A2. Hm. Well, in a lot of ways this season has been so refreshing for me because I am freshly out of a really hard and long season of waiting. But I would probably say the most difficult part for me is probably being far from my friends. I miss people a lot. I think the other challenge for me is fighting the inner thoughts, but in a lot of ways its a lot less challenging but I think that is something we all have to battle daily…and I wouldn’t say it’s easy.

Q3. What do you like to do in your free time?
A3. I love being creative. Whether that’s with cooking (I’m great at cooking but suck at baking), painting, scrapbooking, or writing (my all time fav). I enjoy reading, listening to music, playing with Roy, going to Target / Starbucks, and I love being outside.

Q4. What’s something that you know about God after getting married that you didn’t know before?
A4. I think something that has been sweet for me to recognize, is how much more of a back and forth there can be between us and God. Seeing how Luke and I can even have different opinions and or ideas but when joined together can create something really special. I have learned that because Luke loves me or I love Luke we value the ideas and words of one another. It’s been sweet to think about the Bride and Christ and how it’s a mutual love, taking into consideration of one another, and keeping one another supported. It’s not just a take, take, take, but a lot of giving, receiving, and giving, receiving. I think that’s been really special for me. That sounds so simple. But I think that’s what makes it sweet for me.

Q5. What is/was the hardest part of walking through suffering?
A5. I have typed and backspaced a lot for this answer. Suffering isn’t easy, obviously haha, and to capture the hardest part is difficult for me. I think what was hard for me was how life altering it was for me. I had never experienced pain so personal. I would compare my current self to my past so much because I missed how I was before pain, arm/brain injury & mental illness. The time was hard as well. It was also weird because it was not a visible suffering. A lot of it was internal or relatively normal in appearance. The average person walking past me on the street wouldn’t see what I was going through. That made it feel private and difficult a lot of the time. Each day that passed and words spoken like “chronic” were scary. But I think my favorite part is the intimacy with Christ I gained. The deep cries, thankful heart, and strength that I’ve grown in.

Q6. Advice for someone who is battling mental illness?
A6. This is said a lot, “you’re not alone.” But sometimes that feels like just words and it’s pretty dang lonely. Especially when you’re young and not many your age are suffering. But something that I was continually comforted in was my King Jesus suffered. My suffering wasn’t foreign to Him. I was getting glimpses of who He was too. Community is so important too, and not isolating yourself. I highly recommend counseling because it was SO helpful for me and it took my conversations to an expert.

I also would encourage you to read through Psalms as David’s words for one who is experiencing anxiety and depression is so encouraging and feels as if David can capture many of our thoughts. Also- you are so loved and I’m thankful for you and that you trust me to ask this question. You really aren’t alone, and although I could say trust me…trust God in that! 🙂

Q7. What are you looking forward to lately?
A7. This is a sweet question. I’m looking forward to coffee tomorrow. I’m looking forward to this Bible Study that I am going to be doing through my Church. I’m looking forward to Luke graduating and getting a job. Looking forward to potentially getting a new place. I’m looking forward to cuddling with Roy G Biv tonight. I’m looking forward to autumn clothes. I’m also looking forward to getting a new couch in the future.

Q8. What is your most consistent argument with Luke?
A8. This is a funny question to me. The most consistent argument we have is over a couch. It’s not that we don’t agree on style. It’s that I want a new one now and he wants to wait. It’s been our biggest argument our whole marriage. And to be honest it’s the same foundational argument we’ve had since dating even as teenagers. Something so simple but we just can not agree on it. When will “now” ever be if we keep waiting? LOL as you can see it’s an ongoing thing. We argue but also low key joke when arguing but it’s consistent. Also he doesn’t like that I don’t use the last square of toilet paper. I always put a new one on top of it. But it’s because I didn’t need the last square. I figured he could use it + was considerate and got him the new one for more. It’s kinda like when there is still one more tiny bite on the cookie tray but you don’t want to toss that one so you just put it next to the new tray of cookies.

Q9. How has Luke stayed the same since you were young and how has he changed?
A9. This is interesting. I would say that he is similar in being diligent with his work. He’s always been the top of his class. He is similar in the way he loves chocolate chip cookies and wanting to serve me. He is similar in the way that he holds and twirls a pen. He is different in a lot of ways. He is different in the way he carries himself. He’s grown a lot in discernment, wisdom, humor, and gentleness. He is very aware and respectful. And I think that as he’s aged he has become really chill while also still being more of a “box” person. It’s hard to explain. When he was young he was more stubborn and stuck to rules. Now he’s very much to the rules but also full of grace and interested in how I may view it differently. He was very driven to the point where his dreams were a focus, and now he’s way more focused on mine. It’s growth…it’s all good. He’s still Luke and I love each new season, new style, new hair, and all that comes with growing up together.

Q10. What skill would you like to grow in or grow to learn?
A10. I think there are too many to really add on this blog, but to name a few: writing, reading, cleaning/organizing, flower arranging, running, cooking, painting, gardening, and driving. I still don’t drive because of my health issues/ PTSD. But that’s something I would like to grow to learn. I would like to grow to learn more about baking but that was rather discouraging for me.

Q11. What is something you have learned about Jesus because of suffering?
A11. Ah- this sort of question makes me teary. I learned how gracious he is. I learned what it means to be righteously angry. I gained a tiny glimpse of what it was like to be in the court room and have the truth questioned. I recognized how Jesus said He thirst when he carried the cross and how stubborn I am to not be able to say I thirst, when my own King did. But thankfully He gives me eternal water when I say I thirst. I learned how kind He is and how important being thankful is. I learned a lot about His compassion, empathy and patience. I learned a lot about Trust and His goodness. I learned so much. It’s emotional for me actually. Because although it was difficult and still is, I wouldn’t trade the intimacy with Christ and growth. I’m so thankful for Him.

Q12. Which sister are you closest to?
A12. I am close to them both in different ways. I couldn’t say which one I am closest to because it’s kinda like apple and oranges. I’m close to them both and our relationships are different. They know me really well. I am learning to know them well. My struggles and pain were much more public which meant that pretty much my most vulnerable times, they witnessed. I am super similar to Sydney and we can absolutely annihilate one another with our jokes and not take it personally. We also agree on a lot of things when it comes to style, humor and all that. Sydney is also super deep and gives an interesting perspective and we can mentally challenge one another when it comes to perspectives. Aubrie is the one I probably seek the opinion of the most because it’s most different than mine usually so I appreciate the voice and also learn from it. Aubrie and I are super different in how we communicate. I think I needed my relationship with Aubrie to learn how to grow up and be in relationships with others. She is super creative, clean, blunt and I’d say she challenges me.

Q13. What are your current go to snacks?
A13. Smartsweets…..but guys I didn’t realize they were that packed with fiber….I also love cheetos or cheese puffs always. I also love armenian cheese and pickled veggies/peppers always.

Q14. Favorite drinks?
A14. I LOVE coffee. I love making iced lattes with cold foam. I love cold brews. Matcha. Sweet tea. Coconut la croix and frozen virgin pina coladas.

Q15. What is a small joy of the season you’re in right now?
A15. This might sound funny but Roy G Biv has been such a blessing to me. I always loved dogs but Roy has really been a source of joy for me. He is so weird and I love that about him. I also love that we live with my family. This season isn’t forever but it has been such a blessing during this time.

Q16. What would your last meal be?
A16. Okay so I added this question myself as I’m eating gluten free crackers and dreaming about donuts. If I had a last meal…and knew it was my last meal, I would probably have donuts, pizza, pasta, enchiladas, and salsa. All the foods I’m allergic to and miss. And if that wasn’t my last meal, it would be after I ate that. YIKES.

Q17. Have you made genuine friends through instagram?
A17. Actually yes. There are some girls I’ve become friends with over instagram and can genuinely call them friends. There are some people that I just really love. I love that you can be friends with people from all around and get glimpses of their life. It’s sweet and fun, and equally odd.

Q18. Have you ever struggled with comparison?
A18. It’s interesting because I used to say no. But I think we all compare ourselves to something. In our most healthy times we look to Christ to see how we need to grow and change. When we’re unhealthy or struggling, or in our flesh we look to others. Sometimes even to our past self. I have battled a lot with comparing to my past self.

Q19. Did you and Luke ever struggle with frustration at each other after your trauma?
A19. I remember there being an adjustment. He was extremely gracious and saw that I was struggling with anxiety and depression before I was diagnosed and actually knew before I did. There was a lot of frustration in all of it for me with my injuries and not knowing how to communicate what I needed to because I could barely understand it myself. There was a lot of learning for all of us. My whole family. It was really hard. A lot of tears, a lot of therapy, physical therapy, doctors appointments and all of that. (If you are unsure what this is referring to, we were in a car accident nearly 5 years ago and I struggled with concussion, arm/brain injury and PTSD/anxiety/depression).

Q20. What time of life would you relive if you could?
A20. Hm…I wouldn’t want to truly relive it but I think it would be fun to go on a couple dates as young Tay and Luke again just to see how different we feel now and also how we’ve grown. I think that would be funny/sweet/cringe worthy.

Q21. Have you ever wanted to change something about yourself?
A21. HA…yes of course. I just typed out a whole list of things I want to change but noticed my breathing becoming short because it made me anxious haha. I think change is always good, but sometimes it’s unhealthy and I recognize how my mind can slip into that space so I gotta follow that and go with, acceptance for the things that are real but also recognizing growth can happen. That’s a very raw and vulnerable answer. I think if what you want to change is healthy and growth, that’s great. But if it’s picking out what you dislike, just delete and breathe like I just did.

Q22. What would someone who is close to you know about you that your blog followers wouldn’t?
A22. haha well hm…They would know I’m actually super sassy and don’t need that sassy filter. They would know that I’m emotional and not always goofy. I think they would probably see shy Tay, emotional, goofy, crazy, and weird all within one hour of being with them. They would know that I can hold my own but also would rather be second in line rather than going first. I’m not sure what else, but probably a lot more than I’m typing. My friends have said that they feel like my instagram represents how I am with them really well which I appreciate. But obviously some of my humorous videos and voices are to make you guys smile. So I wouldn’t necessarily act like “15 second skit Tay” at a restaurant.

Thank you for reading and sending in questions 🙂 Love you!

Tay Ruth

  1. Cindy W. says:

    ❤️ it all… great words! The Lord is using you Mightily, Tay!

  2. jess says:

    thank u ☻

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I'm Tay! I blog about lifestyle, faith, beauty, and mental health.

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