03/05/2018

I’m Not Like Her, and That’s OK

“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, I wish I wasn’t me at all” -the title my sister, Aubrie, told me to name this blog. It’s pretty brilliant, except it was too long. But…I still had to put it in here somewhere.

I’m not like the girl I compare myself to. I am not in the season that some of my friends are in. My skills are not the same as his.

Living in a world of comparison ruins friendships, relationships and your heart.

Have you ever noticed yourself comparing? Comparing your relationship, your suffering, your joy? Or looking in the mirror and wishing you saw something else? Or wishing your life looked more like your best friends or those people you don’t like but can’t stop observing their life?

Or maybe struggling with jealousy or envy? Or ya know- how dare that “sassy pant” girl look at your man? Or how about when you just wish so badly you could have a simple life like that minimalistic blogger you love?

I remember in high school, when I was 16, sitting next to my boyfriend, Luke, in anatomy class and he would get his tests back and it always said “100.” Mine often said “C, D, F” and if there was a possibility for an E, I’d have that too.

Luke would always say “Tay! What’d you get?” I decided to ignore him. But he persisted, “Tay, did you do well?”

At this point I’m like…boy please mind your own business. Why do you care so much? Cue Mariah Carey’s song, “Obsessed.”

But instead of kindly replying “I didn’t do that great.” I said “What the heck. Why are you always asking me how I did? I didn’t do well, Okay!?”

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Here we are at 16, HAHA

That was our first fight. After that, any time a test was passed back to us, he would go get a tissue so that I could look at my grade alone. HAHA, smart guy. But also, my bitterness was rooted in jealousy and comparison.

I would compare our successes. He has always been so much better at academics.

I got in the car that day of our first fight and was telling my mom about my day. I expected her to say, “That’s so annoying that he asked you what you got.” But instead my mom said to me, “You know that you should be excited for his success rather than trying to compete?” I thought about this for a moment and wanted to snap back. She then added, “His strengths should be applauded by you, not looked down upon.” Then she also said this, “Your differences are what makes you, YOU.”

Wow. My differences are what makes me unique. Isn’t it interesting that God created us each with a different finger print, not one of us the same? Why then do we compare our gifts, looks, qualities and talents?

Thankfully, Jesus sees me as I am.

And He created me like this.

Maybe I’m not good at academics like Luke. And that’s okay.

Maybe I don’t have the same body as some girls that appear to be models- that’s okay.

Maybe I’m not in the season that I desire to be in- that’s okay. God knows what is best for me in the now.

Maybe I can’t dance like a professional or sing like Beyoncé …(no worries though, I’m a pretty good actress).

Maybe I don’t have the qualities my sisters have, or the talents, or the same body- that’s okay. God created us to be alike but different. I’m so thankful that a lot of my weaknesses are their strengths, and vice versa, because that’s how we build one another up.

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God created me to be me. And something in me is created in His image. And that’s pretty darn special.

So if you find yourself comparing or feeling jealous here are 3 things to think about:

1. Know that you’re not alone. We all go through it at some point,
2. Turn to God and ask Him how He sees you. You’ll be amazed how set apart you really are, and the gifts He gave you, and
3. Encourage people rather than talking down to build yourself up. Talking down to or about someone just to boost your self esteem only makes you look bad. I think it also may be a cause of deteriorating health. I don’t have any science experiment to back that up…but I can’t imagine you would feel good living in a life of negativity.
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Happy Birthday, Aubs!

Here are some Bible verses to encourage you:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

James 3:16-17

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”

Proverbs 14:30 ESV

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Psalms 139:13-14

Actually just read all of Psalm 139. David did an excellent job praising God for all He did. And it’s a good refresher to remind ourselves with.

God created your finger print special and different…think about that a little longer than it took you to read it.

He sees you differently than you see yourself.

(Also- Luke, thanks for putting up with my snappy attitude when I used to see you as my big competitor.)

Thank you for reading,

Tay Ruth

 

4 responses to “I’m Not Like Her, and That’s OK”

  1. Cindy Welgoss says:

    Loved this, Tay! We have seen what is special about you for a long time, and all the gifts the Lord has bestowed upon you. You and Luke are wonderful and unique individuals, but together, with the Lord at the center of your relationship as it is, He has created one incredible couple! There is no doubt that He has given you both individually what He needs for you to serve Him together!

    So enjoying the blessings of your posts! Love, Me

    • tayruth says:

      Thank you so much! You have been so vital to Luke and I! I don’t think we would understand each other as well as we do if it weren’t for you helping me understand an internal processor 😉 I’m so thankful that I met Lucas, and your whole family and how you have become family to me. Love you!

  2. Monica Ramirez says:

    Hi there 👋🏼👋🏼

    I was scrolling through your blog and found this post.. I can’t believe I missed it! I enjoyed reading this, I struggle with comparison too and I’m happy that you put some bible verses at the end to help. I will definitely refer to this when I’m feeling jealous.

    Thanks ! 🙂
    Monica

    • tayruth says:

      Hi, Monica! This is something that so many can relate to, so you are not alone. I’m so glad that you found it encouraging. 💛

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