12/04/2019

Tay’s Q & A

Hi! On instagram I asked you all to send in some questions for my next Q & A blog and this round of questions was loaded with great ones. I will try to answer as many as I can but I don’t think it will be possible to get to all of them. A lot of them are questions that are about Luke and myself which is funny but also sweet. So here we go…

Q1. “Do ya’ll want to have kids pretty soon after you get married or wait a while?”
A1. Haha- so quite a few questions asked something in regards to this. Luke and I are not in any rush to have kids right away. We are both young and also want to enjoy being married for a little bit. But we have been dating for a long time and I’ve heard from other high school sweet hearts that the baby fever hits sooner than you would think it would. But we want to be wise and first be able to take care of ourselves before bringing in a baby. I would probably be SHOCKED if I found out I was pregnant and I think Luke would faint…but then the next week we would have so many baby clothes and a fully nursery design in mind. We pretty much would just trust that God knows the right timing and be thankful for any time whether that soon or many many years from now.

Q2. “What are your thoughts on your fiance/boyfriend following other girls on social media?”
A2. This is an interesting question. I guess I would need the question to be expanded on? If the question is how do I feel about him following girls that are our/his friends…I think that is very normal and honestly not any issue. But if the question is, how do you feel when your fiance/boyfriend follows inappropriate accounts or girls that neither he nor you know, then I think it’s weird and not a good thing? haha I’m not sure what is meant by this question… Luke and I don’t have those issues and we have a pretty clear boundary that is respected by both of us. He personally makes his own choices when it comes to social media and he is very respectful of me.  I trust him, he trusts me. Plus, Luke barely uses social media. We both love and respect each other and don’t push those boundaries. It’s hard for me to speak to a situation that I’m not sure completely what is meant by it. I guess if you’re struggling with jealousy and don’t want him to follow a single girl other than you, than I think that’s a big flag and not good and doesn’t sound healthy and probably needs to be worked out/communicated.

Q3. “Where are all your shoes and dresses from?”
A3. You’re so sweet. I shop at h&m, zara, target, loft, urban, anthropologie, and madewell. If you use stylust  they can help you find any outfit that you like and then quote it for you/ find cheaper options. You can use my code “TR367” for $25 off anything!!!! It’s so cool. I text them screenshots of outfits and then within an hour or less they text me back with different links of where to find the outfits or shoes, jewelry, anything. I have been using it because I always like outfits I see on instagram or pinterest and they help me find it and then I can choose whether to buy it or to pass. No obligation, no markup fees, no subscription.

Q4. “What did you and Luke do in high school that helped your relationship the most?”
A4. Well- it’s funny because when we were in high school I sort of feel like we were in the “honeymoon phase” for like 2 years. So I think what helped a lot was having a relationship that started first as best friends. We also set boundaries that were pretty clear. And we just had fun and made memories. I prayed a lot for him prior to dating too, but that was because I felt a stir in my heart to. I don’t think that was all that normal…I just knew I was meant to pray for him.

Q5. “When did you and Luke meet and start dating?”
A5. We met when I was 13 and he was 14. We started dating June 7, 2012. Three months after I turned 16.

Q6. “How many kids do you both want?”
A6. 2 or 4 because I want them to have a buddy on a rollercoaster. HA- no but honestly we would be happy with whatever God gives us.

Q7. “How are you preparing for your marriage vs. preparing for your wedding day?”
A7. It’s funny because Luke and I both feel like we have done a whole lot more planning for our marriage than our wedding day. I mean, that’s a good thing, but we’ve been dating for almost 7 years so we have really been building that foundation and praying that God would be the center. We have been praying praying praying. And more of the practical ways, we have been working on our budget, our schedules, and filling our space where we are living. For our wedding it’s a lot of little details that are materials…whereas for our marriage it’s more of preparing and praying for our minds and hearts. We have also been reading scripture, reading a ton of books and all that fun stuff. Also seeking and learning from older and wiser people.

Q8. “What’s something you learned about Luke during your time of engagement?”
A8. It’s interesting. The moment we got engaged there was this new level of “comfortableness” haha for a lack of better terms. We both just suddenly trusted one another in a new way. I always knew Luke to be someone who was uplifting and kind with his words, but since we got engaged he’s been on a whole other level with encouraging me, telling me he’s proud of me, and texting me early in the morning when he get’s up for work that he’s thinking of me. It’s also crazy cause we both learned how easy and quick it was for us to get into little arguments just cause we are comfortable. I started getting whiney and he calls me out “Tay, please don’t speak to me like that.” and then I’m like, oh shoot…I am so comfortable with him. It’s a good and bad thing. HA cause I don’t want to get comfortable with bad habits. I also learned that he likes to slide his socks down half way on his feet after a long day, and it semi freaks me out. It’s weird cause he will walk around the house with a sock half way off/ half way on his foot and I’m like EW just take it off or put it on correctly!!!? It makes me feel weird because it’s like if someone sleeps with socks on one is always off and the other is hanging off. BLEH.

Q9. “Do you think it’s okay for a girl to pursue a guy?”
A9. Hm- I don’t think there’s anything wrong for a girl to express her feelings or to be bold and blunt. I am very much a “strong girl” when it comes to how I communicate. But I do think that when you’re in a relationship there should be a back and forth effort. Not just one person pursuing the other. HOWEVER, I still believe that the male should always pursue the female out of respect. Not because of tradition or because the “woman is weaker” (ew), but because I just think it’s respectful and beautiful when the male respects and shows love towards the female and pursues her. I would say Luke pursued/ still pursues me. But I also love him a heck of a lot and respect him so I am going to show him that I too am trying and putting effort in.

Q10. “How do you collab with brands?”
A10. They either email or DM me or I “elevator pitch” to them in their DMs and we work together. When they approach me, I always think about these 2-3 things, “Is this something that represents what I believe in or who I am, Is this something I would personally buy, what are the reviews for this company/brand?”

Q11. “When is it appropriate to be open and vulnerable in a relationship? Not too soon/not too late”
A11. I talk a lot of about relationship questions under my category “Relationships” which probably covers a lot of these questions. But- I know for my relationship with Luke I really do believe it was God’s timing. It wasn’t even an intentional conversation where we sat down with it in mind that we were going to have that conversation. It just naturally led in to that, and it wasn’t easy, but it was good. I would say just pray and ask God to guide the conversation. We talked about it about 1 year before we got engaged. I am so glad we spoke right before we got engaged, because we both were confident when making the decision. Luke had said to me when talking about it all that he had been thinking about getting engaged but could not get down on one knee until we talked about everything. It was difficult but looking back it was worth it and we both sometimes recall that conversation and say – that was pivotal and so so good. We both opened up knowing that marriage was the goal.

Q12. “How did you grow the ‘tayruth community?'”
A12. Well a lot of you message me saying you found me through pinterest, my friend Mary Kate, Shiloh Collect,  Instagram popular page, Liberty, or my dad’s church. Haha- so honestly, I’m not sure. But when it comes to actually building the community I think it comes down to getting to know each other and actually investing in one another’s life. It’s cool because I really do feel like I’ve “met” a lot of you. We’ve built a trust with one another and it’s just really cool. So thank you for anyone who has been following me for awhile and who are very invested in this little community!

Q13. “How do you have faith during difficult times?”
A13. This question is one I think we all ask at some point in our lives and maybe we are going through it currently. I wrote a blog called Joy in the Drought if you haven’t read that yet, I think it will encourage you. But I think what I would suggest is to power through it, turn on worship, pray, read your Bible. Faith  is developed because of seasons of difficulty a lot of times. He is good and He uses difficult seasons and is able to turn it into something beautiful. Also you should read the book Hinds’ Feet on High Places

Q14. “How did you and Luke bring up the marriage topic while dating?” 
A14. Well I was known for bringing it up prematurely because our friends and even strangers would be like “so when are you gonna put a ring on it?” right in front of both of us, and it was always so awkward. So I remember asking Luke, “do you want to marry me? and if so when?” and I remember for a while he would panic and give me a “I am not ready to talk about marriage and I would say it would be in 10 years.” LOL not kidding. And then I remember waiting and not asking anymore. Around our junior year of college Luke started being the one to talk about it. In fact one time we were in chickfila and he wrote out several life scenarios plans all surrounded around when/ how we could get married. Like a “2 year plan, 4 year plan, 3 year plan” and we ended up not going with any of the plans on the chickfila place mat…but I kept it because that was one of my favorite days ever. I think I told everyone around me “HE WANTS TO MARRY ME!” He sorta just laughed and thought I was crazy, but it was so exciting.

Q15. “What was your biggest expectation about getting engaged/getting married and how is it different than reality?”
A15. It’s funny because I think a lot of times people can have this expectation of opening your Bible’s together at 7 pm and turning to some scripture and depending on one another for that…and I am so thankful it’s not like that. I think that is what I assumed it would be like when I was younger. We are both very much responsible for our own time with the Lord. But it’s been really special being able to share a lot more when it comes to spiritual growth and inviting one another into those areas where we can talk and ask questions about what God is doing in our lives. And it’s cool because now we talk and we will be like “wow, I really think the same way, or feel the same way” in regards to decisions after we seek God. So it’s cool how He has aligned our paths like that. I’m excited to see how it will grow even more.  I think another expectation I had was that not much would change because we had been dating for so long, and in a lot of ways it hasn’t which is cool…but in some ways it definitely has. Kinda like what I said above in one of the other questions, it can be easy to get too comfortable and get into arguments that aren’t even necessary. Like mine and Luke’s arguments are sometimes like debates that one of us doesn’t really even fully believe but we will continue to debate, LOL but we’ve been doing that since high school…I just notice how it can now turn south if we aren’t careful. So I guess maybe my expectation was that we would be more mature automatically? HA But we are the same people, with the same struggles, and are growing together. (I am so glad we both love each other exactly the way we are, but I guess this could be concerning for someone who is dating someone in hopes that they will grow up or change…that would be bad because we are still 100% the same people..marriage puts a magnifying glass up close to who we are).

Thanks for reading,
Tay Ruth

One response to “Tay’s Q & A”

  1. Love this Q&A, Tay! I really appreciate you taking the time to thoroughly answer each question. So hilarious how you noticed what Luke does with his socks LOL!

    Also, I really enjoyed your very last question/answer. I always think it’s interesting to hear how couples have time with the Lord, separate or together, and I appreciated your honesty in that answer.

    All Things Ashley Marie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *