I’m sitting here reading a book that my grandma and grandpa sent Luke and me as an engagement gift. It’s called Ready to Wed and it’s so good so far. Something that stuck out to me was this quote,
“Isn’t it interesting, however, that God never mentions any of these goals in the Bible? Nowhere does He talk about happiness, the search for a soul mate, chemistry, kids, security, comfort, companionship, sex, or even love as the “true” purpose for marriage. God created marriage with something far more wonderful in mind than simply a place where we can get our needs met and find happiness. God uses marriage to accomplish a very important goal: to help us become like Christ.” (Ready to Wed, Greg and Erin Smalley)
I think that our generation likes immediate gratification or quick results. We don’t love the work that it takes to get to the place we want to be.
It’s pretty crazy because I am having so many revelations as we come closer to our marriage about who God is and my relationship with Him. How I TRULY have to work on being committed and in love with Him. I can’t just wish it or desire it, I have to work at it. No relationship grows when one is absolutely not contributing or desiring to grow.
The neat thing is that engagement and marriage (from what I have heard and read haha) causes a whole lot of refining. We are two imperfect people coming together with a whole lot of messes, sin, struggles, and just as much joy, laughter, and love. But what I love about marriage or engagement is that Luke and I are actually working on this together. We are not alone. We are both encouraging the other and there for each other. We also both bring very new perspectives to the other.
It’s also funny because although we have been together for six years we are still learning new things about the other as I hope we always continue to desire to get to know one another.
We are very opposite. Our interests, our personalities, our ideas and opinions sometimes vary…but our faith, home style, morals, and humor are similar. Our dreams are merging as well and it’s cool to be able to support one another in our dreams.
I am starting to be more mindful about how I don’t really like being told what to do. Luke is also Mr. Protector & Mr. Knowledge, which are GREAT things but sometimes I think he is Mr. Bossy. I know this is a major personality thing, but let me be honest, a lot of times Luke’s ideas take longer and are not as easy as how I may do something.
For example, the way he does his laundry is way more detailed, precise and – let me be a little transparent- not as easy. BUT, I am learning that extra effort makes a big difference. He also said he thinks he wants to do our laundry for us? HA I mean sure. I will probably ask him to teach me his way and we both can do it. I really don’t mind.
He also will say, “woah, Tay careful,” when I am playing with literal fire…this usually makes me want to play with the fire more, but I know that he’s right. HAHA this is just an example of our personalities. The other day I saw a video of how someone twisted their hair and then burned off all the fly away hairs, it was so cool that I wanted to try it. I twisted the front piece of my hair, so all of my burning targets (aka fly away hairs) were readily available and was ready to light it up. He grabbed my hand and with lots of shock said, “TAYLOR, YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED.” I laughed and said, “Luke I seriously think it’d work.” But he wasn’t having it. He didn’t want to me be bald in the front of my head. Looking back, I see how and why he was so concerned. Even though I didn’t love Luke telling me not to play with fire in the moment, I’m glad he spoke up. Much like other moments in our relationship when one of us keeps the other accountable saying to be careful. Don’t play with that kind of fire.
People have been asking us a lot lately, “what are you most looking forward to about marriage?” We both jokingly say, “traveling will be cheaper and we get to finally travel together.” Which is a little thing that we are majorly excited about, but the truth is…I am excited for the way that we will grow. I know that it won’t be easy, and I know that some days or weeks or months, and possibly years will take a whole lot of work. But I am blessed and excited to push each other (or if it’s Luke, he will gently guide because he’s super sweet) to become more like Christ.
Happiness, security, physical intimacy, best friend, and all of those attributes listed in the quote I showed you above about what people long for in a marriage are not bad, however it is not the key purpose of marriage. The “spark” in marriage and what keeps the relationship focused and growing is Christ. In fact if we went into marriage thinking it was all dates, roses, butterflies, chocolates, and picnics we would be very much disappointed. But instead, I am excited because we both will be in this process of becoming Christ-like, and through that molding, refining, and hard work will come joy. Because remember, CHRIST = LOVE. And Becoming Christ-like entails loving more.
So, Luke… here is to loving you more, and looking forward to how we both will become more like Him while we strive to serve, love, and encourage one another in this life. I am thankful for you!
Thanks for reading,
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